I am completely overwhelmed and drained by all of this attention and now it is time for me to move on and for me to draw a line under this. I have spent far too much time thinking about Frankie Boyle in the last few days and not enough time fangurling over Mika. The balance in my life is all wrong, wrong, wrong!
But before I move on, I feel the need to state here that I am not going to be talking about this any more after this blog post. I wont be talking to any journalists (even if they turn up at the DS support group I help run like one did this morning, or outside my front door, as another did) and I will not be replying to any tweets or blog replies (whether positive or negative). I wont be going on the One Show (yes really!) not the Today Programme, or any of the other TV and radio stations that have contacted/tried to contact me today. Sorry!
I would also like to say that I have not censored any replies on here, so you can see exactly what people think/have replied but I did turn moderation on just to avoid spammers. I havent had any, so am turning moderation off. I hope that isnt a big mistake ;)
For the record, I never intended any of this fuss to happen. And although some people think I am attention seeking, or a hypocrite, or whinging, or indeed all three, that was never my intention. In fact I dont like the attention this has brought and would right now happily hibernate for the rest of the year (apart from the 2 Mika gigs I have tickets for - wouldnt miss them for the world, naturally).
My blog was written as a quick and easy way to explain to my friends on fb and twitter as to why i had personally had such a rubbish evening. It was never intended to get the word out to the whole world (!) nor for me to get my 10mins of fame from it. Honestly.
I know some people wont believe that, and that they/others will be thinking bad of me right now, but I can do nothing to change their view of me. And to be honest they dont know me, so what does their view matter anyway?
I know in my heart of hearts that my intentions were, and my intentions have always been good. I love and adore my daughter, and am very proud of her, and I hate to see stereotypes about Down syndrome being laughed about and shared to thousands of people. I hate it when people use lazy humour to make fun of people who cannot answer back.
If the fact that I enjoy stand up comedy and I also am upset when people make fun of people with disabilities makes me a hypocrite, then I hold my hands up and admit that must be what I am. But I am only human, and I am not perfect.
If only one person stops and thinks before making fun of someone with a disability then its a good thing. Or if this whole mad episode helps someone understand that people with DS do not have bad haircuts, bad clothes, old out of touch parents, then that too can only be a good thing.
I am not on a mission, I am not a crusader. My blog was only ever intended to write a report about the evening I experienced, and the reasons why I felt upset. It was not an attack on Frankie Boyle, it was merely a factual (though obviously emotive) report on the evenings events. I dont like the humour that he used about people with DS, and I dont like the way he handled the whole situation, but I dont much like the way I handled it either. I should have walked out of the show and borne the brunt of any jokes he might have made about me leaving. But i was too cowardly to do so. I did not heckle him and would not have said anything to anybody about the nights events had he not come over and asked us what we were talking about. So I dont think anybody should be feeling proud of me, because this has all only happened by accident, because he came and spoke directly to us.
I had no intention to 'go public' with any of this. Not my style.
So... I plan to now quietly slip back to anonymity and a world full of glitter, shoes and Mika
Much love to you all x